Britsoc: The British Society of Amsterdam and the Netherlands. Serving the British Expat community since 1920.

Andy’s Neologism Collection

Andy’s Neologism Collection

Andy

Contributed by Andy Symmonds

Every year the Washington Post publishes the winning subscriptions to its annual neologism contest. Readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Colour me impressed! These are some VERY clever readers! See If you agree.

The winners are:

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.),a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

 

Love these? Me, too. Here’s some more:

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

 

Have any of your own you’d like to share? We’d love to hear ‘em.

Send your suggestions to Andy
Heck! If enough people use your neologism it may end up in the dictionary