Britsoc: The British Society of Amsterdam and the Netherlands. Serving the British Expat community since 1920.

Mangled English from a Round World

Mangled English from a Round World
2940013380288_p0_v1_s192x300

In an Amsterdam hotel:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.           
           
On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:           
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.         
 
article-1146283-038917D9000005DC-964_468x286
In a Tokyo Bar:          
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.      
 
Hotel, Yugoslavia:     
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.      
 
Hotel, Japan: 
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.       
 
article-1146283-038917E0000005DC-492_468x286
In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.          
 
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:  
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
 
Hotel, Zurich: 
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.           
 
51sMbzMKZHL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:            
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?          
 
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:   
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.  (Just Like British Airways!)      
 
men-ramen
A Laundry in Rome:  
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. 
 
And finally the all time classic:
Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window: 
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…