Britsoc: The British Society of Amsterdam and the Netherlands. Serving the British Expat community since 1920.

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Mangled English from a Round World

Categories: Fun, Language, Words, ZINE Magazine
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In an Amsterdam hotel:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.           
           
On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:           
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.         
 
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In a Tokyo Bar:          
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.      
 
Hotel, Yugoslavia:     
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.      
 
Hotel, Japan: 
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.       
 
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In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.          
 
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:  
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
 
Hotel, Zurich: 
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.           
 
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Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:            
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?          
 
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:   
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.  (Just Like British Airways!)      
 
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A Laundry in Rome:  
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. 
 
And finally the all time classic:
Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window: 
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…

British Language Training Centre | Britsoc Sponsor

Categories: Britsoc Sponsor/Advertiser, Business, Education, Language, Language Training
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Welcome to the British Language Training Centre located in the heart of Amsterdam

Your centre of choice for English and Dutch courses as well as Cambridge Examinations, Business English, International Legal English, International Financial English and Teaching English (TEFL) qualification courses

The BLTC trains for internationally recognised Cambridge certificates and is the Dutch Test Centre for IELTS, the International English Language Testing System. In March 2015  BLTC became an official examination centre for Cambridge Business Examinations  BEC, ILEC and ICFE.

Getting there

The BLTC is located in Oxford House in the centre of Amsterdam, close to Spui.

Oxford House
Nieuwezijds Voorburgwal 328/E
1012 RW Amsterdam

E-mail: bltc@bltc.nl 

Tel. : 020 622 36 34
Fax : 020 626 49 62

British Language Training Centre
Welcome to the British Language Training Centre located in the heart of Amsterdam

Car parking is limited. The nearest parking garages are Bijenkorf, De Kolk, and Muziektheater/Stadhuis.

Trams 1, 2, and 5 stop in front of the door (tram stop ‘Spui’).
Trams 4, 9, 14, 16, 24, and 25 stop at Rokin (a two-minute walk).

Amsterdam International Community School | Britsoc Sponsor

Categories: Britsoc Sponsor/Advertiser, Education, Kids, Language, Schools
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Amsterdam International Community School (AICS)

The Amsterdam International Community School is a Dutch International Primary and Secondary School offering international education in English.

To be a community where learning is at the heart of everything we do.

AICS-group-shot

Contact:

Amsterdam International Community School

Prinses Irenestraat 59

1077 WV Amsterdam

Amsterdam International Community School
Dutch International Primary and Secondary School offering international education in English.

Looking for a Dutch Language Course?

Categories: Education, Language
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Dutch for Expats FREE trial lessons

Enrol in a Dutch for Expats free trial lesson via cursusinfo@pacetaleninstituut.nl. The free lessons are given on:

  • Monday, 26 January 2015, 7:30-9:00 PM
  • Monday, 2 March 2015, 7:30-9:00 PM

www.pacetaleninstituut.nl

 

Short Dutch course for expats in Amsterdam – Enrol in a free trial lesson!

Are you an expat in the Netherlands? Do you want to learn some basic Dutch in twelve lessons? Or do you need excellent language skills for your professional environment? Pace Language Institute offers Dutch for Expats courses which focus on different language levels. Whether you have been in the Netherlands for years or only months, Pace has a Dutch course for you. Still in doubt? Enrol in a free trial lesson!

About the course

The Dutch for Expats courses focus on:

  • all language skills: conversational skills, speaking, listening, reading, and writing; and
  • living in the Netherlands, particularly in Amsterdam.

Course fees

  • Group courses (7-15 participants), 12 sessions of 2,5 hours (30 hours), excl. €50 materials: €450 per person.
  • Tailor-made private lessons: €75 an hour.

Free trial lessons

Pace offers free trial lessons on:

  • Monday 26 January 2015, 7:30-9:00 PM
  • Monday 2 March 2015, 7:30-9:00 PM

Course dates and hours

In 2015, Pace offers different Dutch for Expats courses, such as:

  • Course 1, January-February: Mondays and Wednesdays, 7:00-9:30 PM: 12,14,19,21,26 January, 2, 4, 9,11 February
  • Course 2, February-March: Mondays and Wednesdays, 7:00-9:30 PM: 2,4,9,11,16 and 18 February,; 2,4,9,11,16 and 18 March
  • Course 3, April-May: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7:00-9:30 PM: 2, 7, 9, 14, 16, 21, 23, 28, and 30 April; 7, 12, and 19 May.

Enrol

Do you want to enrol in a Dutch for Expats course? Do you want to register for a free trial course? Or do you need more information?

Please, contact Pace via cursusinfo@pacetaleninstituut.nl

 

WEBSITE

 

Top Tal Dutch Courses Start Sept 26, 2013

Categories: Language
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BTG and TopTaal are teaming up together to introduce Dutch classes for the Amsterdam International Community School parents. The classes start at the end of September. We have two types of courses:

  • GET TO KNOW THE DUTCH: An intro to the Dutch culture for expats. We will talk (in English) about various interesting and informative topics, like Dutch habits and mentality, the Dutch health  care system, Dutch art and history. Participants can share their experiences of living in Holland and talk about the difference in relation to their own culture. This is great for those of you who have just move to the Netherlands! Obviously, it’s a great ice breaker too!
  • SURVIVAL DUTCH: Basic level language course for expats. Classes are once a week. We use the book Totaal 1. You will trains your skills on writing,ready, speaking and also grammar. Soon you will be able to have a conversation about familiar topics without much help.

Both courses are great to sign up to when getting a head start in living in the Netherlands and going through a smooth transition.

Click here for more information